28 Feb 05
Keanu Reeves isn’t much an actor. There I said it. I mean, someone has to say it, right? Surely the only way he has become so successful is due to some form of mass hypnosis?
He seems like a nice guy, and he does try in Constantine (“hmmm, I’m a chain-smoker, so I better make my voice extra gravelly this time”), but he just can’t carry it. It’s a shame, because a better actor could have brought far more gravitas to this role, and done better with the flashes of humour in the script that Reeves flattens. Ewan McGregor springs to mind. John Constantine is an interesting character with a lot of potential—a chain-smoking exorcist who ‘deports’ half-breed demons back to Hell. This film version is loosely based on a comic character that first appeared in Swamp Thing who looked like Sting and was of British working-class background (I told you it was loosely based).
First-time film director Francis Lawrence, whose previous experience has been in music videos, does a good job, refraining from hand-feeding us the story and bringing Constantine’s dark city streets to life. But the film is too long, dragging out the final denouement long past the point where we know what is going to happen. As a result I felt forced to sit and watch the last surprise-free, talky fifteen minutes play out, which overshadowed my enjoyment of the rest of the film. It’s a shame because most of the elements are there. The effects are excellent and not overplayed, there are some nice ideas and the world of the film feels consistent. Rachel Weiz does a good job as the woman trying to save her twin sister from eternal torment, but Tilda Swinton in particular shines with androgenous beauty and abrasive wit as the archangel Gabriel.
The film has been repeatedly compared with The Matrix because Keanu walks around in a black coat, but the real reason is that John Constantine seems like Thomas Anderson all over again—only with a more gravelly voice.
Three bugs out of five.
Movies and TV
25 Feb 05
The atmospheric Mayan ruins at Tulúm on the Caribbean, Yucatán, Mexico.
Travel Mexico
21 Feb 05
Us Australians laugh at the cliche that the country is swarming with deadly beasties with the capacity to kill a human with a single bite. I’ve seen a few television specials that really pump up this angle, going into great detail about shark attacks, funnel-web spiders, snakes, stonefish, crocodiles etc etc. You’d think they’re jostling for space down Pitt Street in Sydney (along with the kangaroos). Your average Australian has a good laugh and plunges back into the surf or embarks on another bushwalk.
My girlfriend and I were swimming at Soldier’s Beach on the Central Coast on Sunday, however, and for the first time since I was about six I was stung by a bluebottle. That’s a Portuguese Man-of-War to you overseas readers; a small blue jellyfish with long, streaming stingers that is often washed up onto Australian beaches by westerly winds. It’s also an integral part of the childhood of anyone who grew up near the coast.
Unfortunately, my girlfriend was stung as well, and considering she’s not 100% comfortable in the surf and I was slowly encouraging her to be more confident, I was surprised by the bad luck. Despite the press, you don’t often get bitten or stung here in Australia. Fortunately, it was a minor ‘attack’. A bit of ice to the stings eased the pain, though I have a row of itchy red bumps down my right wrist as I write (note to forgetful self: don’t scratch bluebottle stings).
In a way, it was good she was stung. It’s like a rite of passage in Australia, getting stung by a bluebottle. Everyone should try it.
Update: I’ve changed my mind. You shouldn’t. She’s fine but I’m suffering rows of itchy red welts on my arm, leg and foot. Guess I’m allergic to bluebottle stings as well as mosquitos…
Stuff
17 Feb 05
Looking back at my review of Hero, the last film by Zang Yimou, I see I gave it a rating of four … well, I may have to posthumously up that to four and a half, because House of Flying Daggers, while not quite as stunning as that film, is still certainly worthy of a four rating.
House of Flying Daggers is set in 859 AD, during the declining an corrupt Tang Dynasty. Local deputies Leo (Andy Lau) and Jin (Takeshi Kaneshiro) are ordered to capture the new leader of a mysterious group called the House of Flying Daggers who are stealing from the rich to give to the poor. Jin follows a lead to the local brothel and there encounters Mei (the beautiful and talented Ziyi Zhang), a blind dancer who is not all she at first seems. Ziyi Zhang spent two months living with a blind girl and observing her mannerisms, and the research pays off in her performance.
There a quite a few twists and turns in the ensuing story, and sometimes the melodrama typical of this genre threatens to overwhelm it, but if you enjoyed Hero all the same delights are here to be swept up into: the stunning balletic action sequences, the beautiful cinematography, the spectacular colour and movement. Because of their similarities it is difficult not to compare House of Flying Daggers with its predecessor, and it is perhaps not as perfectly stylised and the plot not as engaging as Hero despite the love story centre stage. Some of the tragic ‘will I or won’t I’ moments could have done with editing. I left the theatre a little unsatisfied as was hoping for everything to go up a notch from Zang Yimou’s last film, but perhaps that’s asking too much. House of Flying Daggers is still an incredible achievement from a master of the Wuxia (martial arts) genre.
Four giggling courtesans out of five.
Movies and TV
16 Feb 05
Early morning fog over Monument Valley, Utah/Arizona, USA.
Travel USA
16 Feb 05
Anyone who has any interest in the history of computer games has heard of Doom, the game that arguably kicked off the craze for first-person shooters. Recently Doom 3 was released to great fanfare (and sales).
But for those of us who prefer our sci-fi demon killing mayhem in good old-fashioned boardgame form—more sociable, more fun, less stress—Fantasy Flight Games have released Doom: The Boardgame. If you’ve ever played and enjoyed such games as Space Hulk or Advanced Space Crusade you’ll be in familiar territory with Doom. Your marines explore the corridors of a dark, bloodstained complex, fighting off all manner of huge ugly beasties with an array of satisfyingly effective weaponry.
FFG have pulled out the proverbial stops with this game, and it shows. The big box is chock full of corridor and room sections, beautifully illustrated and printed on thick, hard wearing card. There are 66—count them, 66—figures with which to fight your battles, nicely modelled in plastic and some of them huge. Prepare to use hot water to flatten the bases of these figures as the plastic is somewhat bendy. If you enjoy painting your miniatures there’s plenty to keep you occupied here, but even a few simple coats of paint and some dark washes will improve the look of your games immeasureably. Finally, numerous counters, cards and reference sheets fill out the box. This is definitely one of the more satisying ‘rip off the shrink wrap and rummage happily through your new game’ moments I’ve had for a while!
The gameplay lives up to the quality of the components; Doom is a pleasure to play. The games can last a bit long—our last game clocked in at about five hours—but without the ‘game fatigue’ that usually results, thanks to the easy and enjoyable mechanics. Each game is scenario-based (hopefully FFG will make more available soon), with the creature player setting out the board pieces, opponents and pick-ups as the marines discover them, along with ‘spawning’ extra creatures with the play of cards. Some reviews have concluded it’s too difficult for the marine player(s) to win, but I’ve found the game balance to be about right; and FFG have recently made available a downloadable expansion that allows players to set the difficulty level.
Doom is a lavishly produced, highly enjoyable game that fans of the 80s ‘big box’ games like Space Hulk and Heroquest will especially love. And it may even bring a few trigger happy video game players into the world of boardgaming.
Four and a half BFGs out of five.
Don’t forget to check out my Doom Rules Summary and Reference Sheet here.
Board & Miniatures Games
14 Feb 05
With the spate of ‘re-imagining’ going on these days, it’s the luck of the draw whether your childhood memories are going to be skewered through the heart or not. They blew it with Lost in Space (though I hear there’s a new pilot, directed by John Woo and written by Doug Petrie of Buffy), but, while Battlestar Galactica never held as great a place in my sub-teen heart, this time they’re right on the money. The new four-hour pilot held me spellbound from start to finish.
Despite the public complaints of a few oldies like Richard Hatch (Captain Apollo from the original series—since mollified by a role in the new series), Battlestar Galactica goes back to the start of the ‘saga’ and turns a pretty wimpy premise into a hard-hitting, gritty, modern sci-fi drama. The characters are real, the script doesn’t hold your hand and treat you like an idiot, and there’s an excellent balance of human drama and gung-ho action. Executive Producer Ron Moore gives a few respectful nods to the original series and then takes it to a new level of sophistication.
Commander Adama is played with stoic, battered intensity by Edward James Olmos (of origami-folding Blade Runner detective fame). In one scene we see him fighting hand-to-hand, but no fancy martial arts moves here; the scene is shockingly effective in it’s violent realism as he desperately struggles to win. Far from squeaky clean ‘models in space’, the characters are fallible (an alcoholic second-in-command) and interesting (the newly appointed president dealing with responsibility and newly-diagnosed cancer), and scenes don’t always play out the way you expect. Changing Starbuck to a woman was a masterstroke, as was upping the level of intensity to make her abrasive and confrontational rather than just cheeky.
The effects by Zoic Studios are stunning. They pioneered this kind of ‘hand-held in space’ camera work on the sadly short-lived Firefly, and there’s no doubt they are doing the best and most original effects work out there right now. Unlike Firefly, there is sound in space this time, but cleverly the sound is ‘compressed’ for the space scenes, an effect like listening to loud noises through earplugs, which gives us an eerie, spacious counterpoise to the action.
I’m looking forward to the start of the mini-series in a week’s time—here’s hoping they can keep the quality at this high level.
Four rag-tag heroes out of five.
Movies and TV
10 Feb 05
My girlfriend has The Shins CD Chutes Too Narrow and I’d given it a perfunctory listen, but was a bit turned off by the lead singer tending to strain at the top of his register, and also some strange impression I’d formed of him being some annoying West US coast surfer with a backing band … god knows where I got that from—I certainly couldn’t have been more wrong. This bunch of incredibly likeable lads from Portland, Ohio, put on a fantastic show at the Metro in Sydney last week. Supported ably by our own ’78 Saab, whose crisp rock show left me wanting more, The Shins were fun, entertaining, and obviously having a great time. Not surprising considering their last show down here was at the Gaelic Club, a venue about a fifth of the size, and this time they’d sold out the Metro with a crowd that was going crazy.
Singer/songwriter James Mercer’s voice comes off better live, but centre stage was occupied by the grinning keyboard/guitar player, who did most of the talking and was infectiously happy—”Do that thing you do James!”. Mercer was no doubt fully occupied by playing the guitar and getting out his poetic, bizarre and very convoluted lyrics to reply. Also worthy of mention were the snappy, interesting rhythms that came out of a big drummer with a surprisingly light touch. This is complex, interesting pop (in the old sense of the word) played with great confidence and fun.
Four planes flying into the sea out of five.
Music
07 Feb 05
What a great sound: a handful of dice being thrown across a plastic board. That’s not the only thing that brings back vivid memories of childhood when you play Heroscape, the new return to ye olde days of big games with lots of plastic components from Hasbro. Sure, open that big brightly coloured box, see all the plastic bits and you might think we’re starting to cross over that nebulous line between game and toy here, but the important thing is, is it fun? You bet it is. If you used to play miniatures games but rapidly got sick of spending valuable game time reading all those intricate rules, mucking about with tape measures, and painting figures, then this is the game for you.
Heroscape comes in a big flimsy box bursting with plastic bits. You make up your board from snap-together 3D plastic hexes that come in a variety of types: grass, rock, sand and transparent blue water tiles. Choose your armies using one of the scenarios supplied or use the simple points system, and have at it! The figures are good quality and well-painted (though I shudder to think of the Chinese sweatshop where this is being made … someone out there is painting just the sword on a samurai figure then passing it to the worker on her left) and best of all, ready to fight.
There are Basic and ‘Master’ rules, but go straight to the easy-to-learn Master rules. There’s nothing new here; it’s roll for initiative, move, and attack, but simplicity is what makes Heroscape such a blast to play. The combat system is spot on: the attacker rolls a bunch of red dice and the defender rolls blue; every Shield on a blue dice blocks a Skull on a red dice; those that get through cause a Wound. This makes for a lot of enjoyable head-to-head dice rolling. Special abilities for different figures mix things up a bit.
Our first game was a fast and furious battle that came down to a close fight between our last two figures; and if you don’t enjoy a slug-a-thon between a WWII paratrooper commander and a robot that looks like it wandered off an episode of Dr Who, you’re not going to enjoy this game. Yep, the background rationale is flimsy—warriors gathering in Valhalla to slug it out over some mystical Wellsprings—but that’s not what this game is about. Hasbro are onto a winner with Heroscape’s flexibility and expansion potential, and the inevitable extra figures are already hitting the shelves.
You’ll find my Heroscape rules summary sheet in the Freebies section.
The perfect ‘beer-and-pretzels’ wargame. Four and a half plastic hexes out of five.
Board & Miniatures Games
06 Feb 05
Rooftop panarama of San Gimignano. Tuscay, Italy.
Travel Italy
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